reconnecting

My dad died when I was 11.  After his death I lost touch with my aunt and uncle (my only close family on his side), even though before that we had been pretty close.  At the time we lived near my aunt and her husband and we would see them all the time.  And my dad and I would take a vacation to see my uncle every summer.  Those were some of the best times of my childhood.
Now, looking back, I think the lack of contact was mostly my mother’s choice.  I think she sees them are “bad influences” (at least to her strict narrow road kind of mind) so she didn’t really encourage a relationship.
Most of the years since then I have spent a lot of time thinking about them.  Wishing things were different between us.  But I didn’t really know if they wanted a relationship with me.  And it didn’t help that I now live almost 2 hours from my aunt and almost 4 hours from my uncle.

About two years ago my aunt called me out of the blue.  She tracked me down because she just couldn’t stop wondering how my life was.  We kept in sporadic touch by email, but I’m terrible about starting contact, so it was mostly only when she emailed that I would write her back.

Then two months ago I got an invitation to my uncle’s wedding.  I decided I would go.  I’ve been wanting to take a vacation up there anyway, so this seemed like the perfect chance.

So I packed the car and my dog Lola and off we went.  Even though I was really excited to see them I was also petrified.  I don’t often step out of my comfort zone.  I tend to stay in my own little bubble, but I wanted to do this.  More then that I think I had to do it.  I decided I wanted my arrival to be a surprise.  But in some ways that made it all the harder for my introverted nature.  I was so nervous that I could barely think.  But by a stroke of luck I saw my uncle almost as soon as I arrived.  He was so happy to see me that I felt all, or at least a big chunk, of my nervousness melt away.  My aunt was even more excited.  She was so happy she actually teared up.  I’m normally tongue tied in unfamiliar situations, but everything just kind of flowed naturally.  I don’t know that I tripped over my words once.

I didn’t really plan to stay all that long.  The wedding was at 2pm and the dinner wasn’t until 6, so I figured I would hang around for a little bit and then head out.  But I had so much fun that I stayed until 8.  Now there were some times where I felt out of place, my aunt, her husband and my uncle were the only ones I really knew there, but over all I had a really good time.

But the best thing was actually what hit me on the drive back to the hotel.  I realized that I had really, really missed them.  I missed my aunt’s laugh and her outgoing nature and her husband’s soft and unassuming demeanor.  I missed the complete and total ease I always felt around my uncle.  They are my family, and I missed them.  I missed them so much.

Both my aunt and my uncle made me promise to keep in touch.  My uncle even offered to let me stay with him if I wanted to come up.  And my aunt said I should let her know when I’m in town next so that we can get together.

I really hope I get to see more of them sometime soon.  I never, ever, want to lose them again.

long time, no see!

I just realized how long it’s been since my last post!  I so need to update more often.

First some site related stuff:  I updated the Dragon Cave Breeds with the latest images and descriptions.  And I also updated the Links section.  There was quite a bit of new links that I wanted to add and several I deleted.

The reason I haven’t been updating lately is because I’ve been busy working on a project.  It started quite simply with reading the Twilight series and watching the movie.  One of the extras on the dvd was an interview with the author Stephenie Meyer.  In it she said that one day she had a dream and just started writing.  She didn’t plan it, but it just happened.

For some reason that simple statement really inspired me, and it gave me this huge epiphany.

I’ve always considered myself a dreamer.  As a child I was always dreaming up something or another.  Some of it was normal childhood stuff, playing with toys and making them do and say things.  But sometimes I would also dream up things like song lyrics and detailed stores with imaginary characters.  As I grew up I started reading a lot and I sort of channeled those dreams into the stories I found there.  But that’s as far as I would take it.  It was something I would do in my spare time.  It was a hobby.  I never thought of it as anything else.

Until I saw that interview with Stephenie Meyer.  Then I got inspired.  What if I didn’t view myself as a dreamer but as a creative person.  Someone who takes what they dream and actually does something with it.  It may seem like a subtle distinction, but it was a big deal for me.  In that moment of realization I got this burst of inspiration and came up with an idea for a book.  A book series actually.

But I’ve never tried to write something before.  Not something like this.  But I just had to try.  I haven’t gotten very far, only about 10 pages, but it seems like the first pages were the hardest.  I had to think of names for people and places.  What job would my main character have?  How would I start the story?  How would I introduce the main characters?
But now I’ve gotten that nailed down (I think) so the writing is going much easier.  I don’t know how long it will take me, but I’ve found I really like it.  Creating a story that only comes to life through me.

So forgive me if I’m not posting a lot.  I enjoy writing on this blog, and I’ll try to make a point to do it more often.  But if I’m gone for a while now at least you’ll know the reason. 

reading, reading, reading….

I have spent the last four days doing nothing but reading books.

It all started simply enough last saturday.  I have been wanting to watch the Twilight movie for a while.  I’ve never read the books, and once I know there is a movie version I prefer to see that first before I read the books.  I saw a commercial reminding me that it was released that day, so I checked my on-demand, and sure enough they had it! So I decided to rent it.

Well it turns out that I totally love it!  Which isn’t all that big of a surprise, I do like the genre after all.  Well after I watched it saturday night I became a little obsessed with it (I tend to do that when I fall in love with something new).  I dreamed about it during the night, and it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning.  So I watched it again sunday morning.  Then I spent most of the day doing other things, but all the time it wasn’t far from my thoughts, I kept thinking about this scene or that scene and imagining where the story went from there.  So at the end of the day, when it was still all I could think about, I decided to order the books, and as long as I was at it I ordered the movie and soundtrack as well.  Thanks to my membership to Amazon Prime, which includes free two day shipping, I got them by wednesday.

As soon as I got them late wednesday afternoon I started pouring through the first book (498  pages), which I finished by midnight taking almost no breaks.  Then the next morning (thursday) I started by watching the movie and after that I read the second book New Moon (563 pages), which I finished by early that evening.  I had planned to take a break at that point, catch up on the tv shows I had been tapping and not watching, do the dishes I hadn’t been washing, things like that.  But instead I started the third book, Eclipse (629 pages), right away.  I thought I would just read a little bit until the evening’s tv shows started.  Well it turns out, just like the last two books, I couldn’t put it down.  In fact I had such a hard time putting it down that kept reading and reading, and I ended up staying up all night (which I almost never do, I like my sleep to much!) to finish it about 9am friday morning.  At which point I gave up on the idea that I could distract myself and I started the fourth and final book, Breaking Dawn (the longest at 754 pages), right away.  I spent the rest of the day reading that until I couldn’t keep my eyes focused anymore at about 9pm, and I collapsed into bed.  I then finished the book after about 3 hours of reading this morning (saturday).

I can’t believe that it took me so long to find this series!  I am totally in love with these characters.  And it is so wonderfully written!  I am pretty similar to Bella in a lot of ways, so I could really relate to her.

The last book felt very familiar though.  Almost like I had read it before.  But how could I?  It was just released a few months ago.  Unless I found a sample of it online?  But I remembered big hunks of the book.  Like several chapters in the middle.  I don’t know if it was maybe just my tired brain remembering a similar story or what.  So that was kind of weird.

It was kind of nice that I was able to read all four books back to back.  The one thing I hate about reading book series is waiting for the next book to come out.  But this way I was able to read the whole story from start to finish.  I am so sad that there is no more to the Bella and Edward story.  But I feel like it came to a good end.  Everyone ends up happy.  Isn’t that the way all stories should end?

I also LOVE the soundtrack.  I played it on an endless loop while I read the first book.  It has such great songs, and I love Bella’s Lullaby and the song Never Think by the movie’s star Robert Pattinson.

So you can include me among the countless number of Twilight fans!

EbN Updates 3.21.09

I decided do do some updating to the Dragon Cave part of the site.

Dragon Cave:  I updated this to include all of my newest dragons.  I’m pretty close to getting 2 sets of each breed!

Dragon Cave Breeds:  I was asked to take the original version of this down because I didn’t have permission to post the images of the eggs and hatchlings.  Then BIRD left a comment asking if there was a way to put the descriptions back up without the images.  So I decided rather then include all of the images I would just create a link to my adult dragon of that breed as an example.  I don’t have all of the breeds, but I do have most of them, so it worked out rather well.

Dragon Cave Help Guide:  This is a new page!  I was going to create a post with this info, and then I realised that posts get lost and it would be a pain to try to keep a post updated with the newest info.  So instead I created it as it’s own page.
I have some more ideas to add to this page, but for now it is just a list of where I go to get views for my dragons and a little bit of explaining about those places.

So as you can see I’ve been pretty busy!  I know that most of the people that come here are viewing the DC pages, and I’ll try to keep them up to date and filled with new information.

Go check them out!

Lola update

Lola is doing much better.  She spent several days sleeping and not eating very much, but now she is eating like normal and is back to playing with toys.  Which I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.  It’s good because it means she’s feeling better, and I don’t want her to be sick.  But I got really used to her just lounging around all day.  Now this energy and exuberance is kind of hard to get used to again.  Not that she’s bouncing off the walls or anything, but it’s still a big difference.

She has been really good about her stitches (actually I think it’s just one stitch).  I’ve even been able to leave the wrapping off of it when she’s inside the house.  Occasionally I see her lightly licking it, but as soon as I scold her she stops.  The only time I wrap it now is when we go outside to play because the yard is kind of muddy.  Every time I bandage it up she acts like her leg is about to fall off!  She could be running and jumping moments before, but put that bandage on and she forgets how to walk.    But once we get outside and she gets to run around she forgets all about it and starts walking like normal (and before anybody says it, I know she’s not supposed to run around with stitches, but she’s either going to run inside or outside, so I’d rather it be outside).
And I do put the cone collar on her when I go to bed at night.  Everytime I get it out she looks at me with those big puppy eyes and I feel like a really mean mommy, but it’s better then her chewing at it and hurting herself more.

She still acts like her but hurts her when she goes to the bathroom.  I think I’ll have the vet look at it when we go in to have her stitch taken out on monday.

So overall she is doing much better.  After monday I hope not to see the vet again until she needs her shots.

Keep your fingers crossed!

back in the saddle

I know I haven’t posted in quite a while.  First I was busy, then it just became habit not to write.

But lately I’ve been feeling the itch to write again.  So I’m going to try to post more often.

Quite a bit has happened since my last post.  Lets see, what to start with….
I lost my job a couple weeks ago.  They had been downsizing a lot, first with a dozen or so people in the shop, then with several people in the office, so I wasn’t all that surprised.  I was still technically a temp, even though I had been there over a year, so when I found out they were letting long time office people go I felt it was only a matter of time.
So now I’m on the hunt for a job again.  There aren’t that many prospects, so it might be a while.  But I enjoy being home.  In fact if it wasn’t for the money issue I would probably never leave my house.

The other thing of intrest has been my dog Lola.  She has had an on going problem with Mange, which is a mite that affects the skin.  Apparently dogs always have this mite, but when they are in poor health from a disease or lack of care the mites explode in number and become a big problem.  They burrow into the skin and cause itchy and flaky skin and then the dog starts loosing hair in patches.
I noticed a skin problem when I first got her, and asked the vet about it.  She thought it was ringworm (which isn’t actually a worm but a fungus) which I guess is a common mis-diagnosis.  Once she wasn’t getting better we started looking at other things and found the mange.
So for the last 5 months we have been treating that.  The vet has wanted to see her every 3-4 weeks for an update, so we’ve been there quite a bit.  But now in the last couple weeks I’ve seen real improvement, so much that the skin is almost all better!  So I thought that we we almost done going to the vet all the time.
But then this past wednesday she went out in the yard and came back in bleeding.  It wasn’t really bad, but it was more then just a drop or two.  I don’t know how she did it, but somehow she cut herself on the back of her leg right underneath the dew claw pad (the dew claw is that toenail that is higher up on their front legs).  It wasn’t bad enough that I thought she needed the vet right away.  I had some stuff that’s made for when you trim their nails to short and they bleed.  Being that it was bleeding about like that I decided to try that.  After I held that cut-stop stuff on there for a while the bleeding stopped, so I bandaged it up (so she didn’t bite at it) and thought that was that.  Which it was, until she got up from her nap and started really moving around.  Because that area is at the back of their ankle joint every time she bent her leg she pulled at that area and it would start oozing blood again.  So I ended up taking her to the vet where they gave her a stitch or two.

Then I had to go back to have the mange rechecked on saturday.  Her regular vet wasn’t there when she went in for her stitches, so we weren’t able to combine the appointments.  :(
After I got her home from her stitches I noticed that every time she went to the bathroom she acted like it was uncomfortable.  Then she didn’t really feel like eating, which being that they gave her an anesthetic to work on her leg I wasn’t surprised at (she takes a long while get over drugs like that) but then I noticed her butt was swelled up.  So since we were going to the vet anyway for the recheck I decided to ask the vet about it.  It turns out she had filled anal glands which that needed to be emptied.  Pour Lola really didn’t like that.  Not that I blame her or anything.  I wouldn’t like it if someone stuck a finger up my already sore butt either.  But the good news is that the vet thinks her mange is all gone, so she no longer needs to take meds for that.      Which is really good because she hated that stuff.

So now I have a dog with a cut on her leg (which needs to stay wrapped so she doesn’t rip the stitches out) and a sore butt.  What’s concerning me is that she sleeping all the time, still isn’t eating all that much and she hasen’t wanted to go to the bathroom because it still hurts.  I don’t know if that’s normal or not.  She isn’t dehydrated, and she’s still eating some, so as long as she does those things I guess that is alright for right now.  She was a tiny bit on the chubby side so at least she has some reserves to draw on.  I have to take her back to the vet (yes again!) later this week to have her stitches taken out, so if it’s still a problem I’ll ask about it.

So that’s what’s been up with me lately.  This last week has mostly been all about Lola, but I’m hoping that everything will get back to normal pretty soon.

this just blows

WordPress is now blocked at work.  Which totally SUCKS!  That’s where I did most of my posting from.

I could just do all my posting from home, but my time is always limited at home, which is why I started posting from work in the first place.  I’ve gotten used to posting something whenever it pops into my head, and I know I’m bound to forget what I wanted to post about by the time I get home.

Another option is that when I think of something I want to post about that I just write it in a email to myself and then quickly post it when I get home.

I have a lot of potential post ideas that have been rolling around in my head, but I just haven’t had the chance to write about them.

So I might not be doing a bunch of posting for the next little while until I get a new routine figured out.

new zazzle products 1-9-09

I’ve made some more Zazzle products.  I’ve always loved the Coexist bumberstickers (the one with the different symbols making up the words) so I decided to make a line of Coexist stuff.  And being me I couldn’t just take an image off the web and copy that exactly, I had to make it my own.  What I didn’t like about the ones I found on the web was that most didn’t have the Pentacle as the “O” symbol, most had it over the “I”.  So I combined a couple different designs and made my own in several colors.

Here’s a sample of what they look like:

 

I’ve only made the set in aprons so far, but in the next week or so I’ll try to get the rest done.

 

I also updated my Pentacle page here on EbN.  Even though I had finished the Pentacle products a while ago I totally forgot to post them here!  So now all of those are listed.

If you want to see an up-to-date list of all of my products you can go to my Zazzle Gallery.

a little pissed off right now

I order a LOT of stuff online.  Where most people check out stores for stuff they need, my first reaction is to hop online and see if I can find it.  The result of that is that I receive a lot of packages, so I’ve gotten to know the shipping companies pretty well.

There are three companies that are most commonly used (in my area at least):  Fedex,  UPS, and USPS (the post office).

Both Fedex and UPS are great.  They are fast, reliable and on time.  I get most of my packages in 3 or 4 days no matter the size or where they are shipped from.  If they say your package will be delivered on X date, it will be delivered on that date, if not sooner (the only exception I’ve found is extremely bad weather).  They have tracking information that is up-to-date, down to the minute (I once checked a UPS package and found it had been delivered one minute earlier).  UPS will even will put your box into a plastic bag if there is supposed to be rain or snow!  In short they do exactly what they are supposed to.  Every single time.

The Post Office on the other hand is terrible.  For a standard package it takes 7 days for me to get it.  Only on rare occasions will I get it quicker, quite often it will take longer.  They don’t take care of the packages, and quite often they come banged up, not enough to damage the contents, but still damaged.  And they have no respect for weather (this could just be my local carrier though).  I once found a package thrown onto a snow bank next to (not in front of) my door, and it had snowed since then and completely covered it.  The only way I found it was because I thought that it would be delivered that day and I rooted around in the snow just in case it was in there.  Their tracking information is terrible.  Quite often I’ll check after I receive a package to find that they only list three lines (even if shipped across the country):  1 – Electronic Information Recieved  2 – Packaged Arrived at Facility  3 – Delivered.  Quite a bit of missing information, don’t you think?
And, if all of that wasn’t enough, several times in the past year alone they have totally miss-routed my packages!  One time it was shipped from Illinois (I live in Wisconsin) and some how it ended up in MASSACHUSETTS!!  Where it preceded to sit around for another week or so (because they didn’t know what to do with it I assume), until they shipped it back to ILLINOIS and then finally to me.  Over all it took 2-1/2 or 3 weeks for me to get my package.
FROM ONE STATE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Last week I placed an order with Amazon (which is my favorite place to shop, I even have their credit card which gives me money back to spend at Amazon ).  I got my “your order has been shipped” email today (just a few minutes ago in fact).  Guess who they used?  That’s right THE POST OFFICE!

If they mess this one up I will totally loose it.  I can guarantee you that I will write both Amazon and USPS and tell them in no uncertain terms how pissed off I am!

Isn’t it bad that when I find out that something is being shipped by the post office that I feel like I have to cross my fingers that it gets here on time and in one piece?

Now it is quite possible that everything will be fine.  That my package will arrive with no damage and on time (one week from now, but still on time).

Keep your fingers crossed.  Say a prayer or two.  Wish on a falling star………

looking ahead

I’ve been feeling pretty quiet and private lately.  I haven’t been feeling like writing much.  But I have been doing some deep thinking.

I’ve made a list of stuff that I want to change in my life.  I don’t want to call them “goals” because I hate that term, but these are things that I really want to make a point to accomplish, not just this year, but for the rest of my life.

Here it goes:
1 – make a meal from scratch at least 3 days a week  (and freeze leftovers)
2 – find a healthy snack for work  (so I stop going to the vending machine!)
3 – clean out the small bedroom and reclaim that as my reading/meditation/altar room
4 – plan a full moon & solstice ritual, even if it only takes a minute or two
5 - meditate every day for at least 10 minutes
6 - do yoga at least 3 times a week  (maybe even every day after work!)
7 – continue learning/practicing reiki, find a way to use it more often
8 - do the dishes every day and not let them pile up until I run out of dishes  :(
9 - pay the bills when they come, not when they are a couple days past due
10 – keep the house clean and deal with stuff rather then just letting it pile up
11 - actually plant the flower garden that I’ve been planning for the last 4 years
12 – keep at training my dog Lola, and not get lazy and let her do whatever she wants
13 – continue to find new products & habits that are easier on the planet and bring me closer to nature

As you can see that is quite a list.  But these are all things I’ve been wanting to do.  I tend to have the attitude of I’ll just skip today and then that day becomes two days, which becomes a week…..
But I really, really want to do all of those things.  It will just take lots of stubborn determination to keep doing it until they become habit.  And I am nothing if not stubborn. 

Updates

I did a much needed update to the Dragon Cave Breeds page.  I added the Autumn, Winter and the new Christmas “Yulestag”.  I even got the image for the hatchling (without wings) for last year’s christmas dragon (can I just say that I was kind of disappointed that I wasn’t able to get that dragon this year. I like the new one, but I was so looking forward to getting the old one).

I didn’t add the the Vampire dragon because the images are still on my old computer, which I didn’t quite feel like dragging it out at the moment.

I’ll try to be better about keeping it updated.  I tend to remember to updated it while I’m at work, but by the time I get home I totally forget.  So just try to be patient with me ok?

Yule 2008

Most people (even non-pagan people) have heard of Yule, or at least something associated with Yule.  Like the Yule Log, or that song that sings: “Spread the Yuletide Cheer….”  but most people don’t know exactly what, or when, Yule is.

Yule is another name for the Winter Solstice, which is the day with the shortest amount of sunlight of the year.  Yule doesn’t have an exact date, it’s whenever the actual solstice falls, but it tends to be between the 19th and 23rd of December.  This year it is on the 21st.

Yule is the origin of alot of our current christmas traditions.  Like decorating, a christmas tree, and even presents.  Those are all Yule traditions that christianity stole to try to “combine” the two holidays.  (they did the same with easter, but that’s different story for another day)

The christmas tree began as a pagan tradition.  Pagans would decorate an outdoor tree with food for the animals.  Some even used shiny or scented objects to attract the animals.  It was a time of giving back.  Not by giving to other people, but giving back to the animals we share our planet with, during the time when food is hard to come by.  They recognized the necessity of everything in nature, and this was their way of trying to help that balance.
In our current times we cut down trees made of pine and spruce and bring them in our houses to decorate them.  Some people still use edible things like candy canes, gingerbread men and popcorn.
Few christians know how this tradition started, and most would be outraged if they knew that their christmas tree was actually a pagan tradition, and has nothing to do with the birth of christ.

Yule (along with the summer solstice Litha) is a big turning point in the year.  Even though it is the beginning of winter weather-wise, it actually is the turning point to getting warmer.  From here on out the days start getting longer and that eventually heats up the atmosphere and brings spring.
That phrase “it’s darkest before dawn” is kind of parallel.  Even though you would think that it would be darkest (and coldest) when the sun is shining on the exact opposite side of the planet (the mid-point between our sunset and sunrise), it doesn’t actually work that way.  The darkness and coldness of the night has an accumulative affect, which leaves us in the darkest and coldest time right before the sun rises.
Our seasons work the same way.  The Winter Solstice (Yule) is the point where the northern hemisphere is tilted in it’s furthest position away from the sun.  But even though from this point on our north pole starts tilting back toward the sun, our coldest weather isn’t until right before the “dawn” of spring.

I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel better!

So have a happy holiday, and go spread some of that Yuletide cheer!

Blessed Be!