my weekend – not what I had planned

21 Jul

So I had planned to drive down to my mom’s after work on friday, visit grandpa in the hospital that night, and then on saturday morning go see Puffin at the kennel, and then after that go see Erin at her foster mom’s house.  That was the plan.

My grandpa had a biopsy procedure on thursday afternoon (he was finaly stable enough that the doctors felt they could do it), and was still really sleepy on friday, so I decided to stay home that night and visit him saturday.  (he’s doing much better by the way, he was even able to sit up and do a puzzle!)

My adoption coordinator called and said that because of the kennel cough they had decided to cancel kennel day.  Apparently every time someone comes into the kennel the dogs get all excited, and then they start coughing.  Exactly what they don’t want.  So they decided it was better for them to stay quiet.  So no visit with Puffin.
I then contacted Erin’s foster mom and set up an 11am appointment.

I was a little disappointed about not being able to see Puffin again.  I really wanted to compare the two of them side by side (as much as possible).  But I’d already met Puffin once, so that was better then nothing. 

So I was really excited to meet Erin.  Everything her foster mom told me about her was really great.  And I wasn’t disappointed.  She is a really great girl.  She is SUPER affectionate, but if you tell her to go lay down she has no problem with that.  By everything I saw, and everything her foster mom said, she would work great in my house.
But I didn’t feel a connection with her.  I felt like I was looking at somebody else’s dog.  It was as if she already had a “sold” sign on her.  I felt in my soul of souls that it wasn’t meant to be.

I was a little disappointed, but I already knew I had a connection with Puffin, so it didn’t feel that bad.

Once I got to the hospital I called my adoption coordinator and told her that Erin wasn’t right for me.
She got really mad at me.  She said that she was wondering if I would find any dog that I liked.  I told her that I liked Puffin, but she didn’t seem to want to hear that.  She felt Erin was the right dog for me, and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want her.  We talked for almost an hour.  I tried to put what I felt into words, but either she has no understanding of that connection, or I wasn’t explaining it well enough.  She couldn’t understand how I could think Puffin was right for me after meeting her for a few minutes.

She couldn’t understand that every big decision in my life has been that way.  I knew the instant I walked into both my apartment and my house that I was home.  I knew the instant I laid my eyes on my cat Sebastian that he was meant for me and that I couldn’t allow him to go to anyone else.  I have never regretted any of those decisions.  She even stated that everybody plays the “what if” game.  What if I bought that other house, what if I adopted that other pet…
I have never done that with any of those decisions.  I knew from the start that it was the right decision, and have NEVER EVER thought differently.  Sure my house isn’t fun all the time.  My plumbing is a mess, I don’t have central air, it needs to be re-sided, I have mice….  But I have never felt for one second that this isn’t the house that I was meant to have.  Never.

I told her that the dog’s personality is secondary to that connection (she didn’t like that).  I don’t enjoy the idea of getting a dog that will need hours of walking every day just so it doesn’t bounce off the walls.  But if I knew in my soul that this was the right dog for me, I would learn to live with it.  If I fell in love with a dog that would need constant medical attention for the rest of it’s life, I would except that.  Once I have that connection, I am willing to bend over backwards for them.

Take the situation with my grandpa for example:  My mom and uncle have spend most of their waking hours in the hospital with my grandpa.  They both have jobs, they both have lives, but that was put on hold because the family needed them.  They might complain about the loss of money and the long hours sitting in the hospital, but they would do it again in a heartbeat.

I have that same feeling for my pets.  If I came home and found my house on fire, I would risk getting killed myself to try to get my pets out.  Most people have no problem saying that about their (human) kids, but when I say that about my animals people look at me as if I’m crazy.  I don’t see any differance.

At the end of the conversation she said that she wasn’t sure if the board would allow me to adopt through them.  She thought I was being to difficult.  So I don’t even know if I’ll be able to adopt Puffin.

So that conversation put me in a funk.  I keep replaying it over and over.  It’s not easy to hear someone tell you that what you wish for might not come true.  I know that greyhounds are the dog for me.  If they aren’t willing to help me then I’ll go somewhere else.  It could be another group, or I might even adopt right from the track.

Wow, this is really long.  I didn’t plan on it being this long.  But there you have it.  I’ll let you know what happens.

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Posted by on July 21, 2008 in Dogs, Family


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